Wendy Mogel's point is that we are robbing our children of the sense of satisfaction by always insisting that their experiences be extraordinary....when ordinary, or even shabby, might be better.
she was responding to those parents who think dropping $10,000 on a kid's prom experience is acceptable; the parents who respond to their child's every effort with over-the-top praise; --the hyperparenting.
So look at it as an antidote to hyperparenting (which is the norm in some parts of the world, like where I am) rather than an effort to shortchange the gifted.
Donna
· 3 years ago
Interesting topic - I had a very similar discussion this morning with my daughter's teacher (she's in 4th grade). Report cards were issued on Friday, and she's heard an earful from parents who expected their kids to get all A's. These are the same parents who don't seem to care that their kids don't complete their homework assignments. Go figure.
drumsnwhistles
· 3 years ago
Hmmm, Liz...I'll have to look at it again. I didn't read it that way at all, though I did sense that as part of the overall message. I agree with 10K proms and major birthday parties, etc...but have difficulty when it spills onto grumpy, mediocre teachers. The "technology class" is but one example of my lack of tolerance for that.
And Donna, that homework thing is a mixed bag for me, but I agree that I shouldn't expect A's if homework is part of the grade package and I don't perform on that piece of it.
The Princess Mom
· 3 years ago
I could not agree with you more! What teachers (and some parents) don't seem to realize is that kids who get praised just for showing up (certificates of participation--my son's wall is full of them) do not automatically have high self-esteem. Self-esteem comes from struggling with something and accomplishing it, not getting an "A" for nothing. "A" for effort, when there has been real effort and improvement whether or not performance is not at A-level, is fine with me. Work should be recognized. But we no longer challenge our kids because we're afraid to damage their self-esteem. Do we honestly think the kids don't know they're being lied to when you say "Great job!" to them even when they've obviously not done their best?
This is exactly why we have fourth graders, eighth graders and high school seniors who can't read. Social promotion is the practice of promoting all kids to the next grade with their age-peers, whether or not they have mastered the curriculum for that grade, so as not to damage their self-esteem. What we need in the schools is not "good enough" homework and teachers, but actual expectations for the students. Expecting an average child to get 100% on every test is not reasonable and grades should not be manipulated so it happens. But expecting all but the slowest learners to master reading by the end of second grade is reasonable and the kids should stay in second grade until they do. Promoting non- or struggling readers to third simply because they've gotten another year older does a disservice to the child and to the community.
All Comments
Wendy Mogel's point is that we are robbing our children of the sense of satisfaction by always insisting that their experiences be extraordinary....when ordinary, or even shabby, might be better.
she was responding to those parents who think dropping $10,000 on a kid's prom experience is acceptable; the parents who respond to their child's every effort with over-the-top praise; --the hyperparenting.
So look at it as an antidote to hyperparenting (which is the norm in some parts of the world, like where I am) rather than an effort to shortchange the gifted.
And Donna, that homework thing is a mixed bag for me, but I agree that I shouldn't expect A's if homework is part of the grade package and I don't perform on that piece of it.
This is exactly why we have fourth graders, eighth graders and high school seniors who can't read. Social promotion is the practice of promoting all kids to the next grade with their age-peers, whether or not they have mastered the curriculum for that grade, so as not to damage their self-esteem. What we need in the schools is not "good enough" homework and teachers, but actual expectations for the students. Expecting an average child to get 100% on every test is not reasonable and grades should not be manipulated so it happens. But expecting all but the slowest learners to master reading by the end of second grade is reasonable and the kids should stay in second grade until they do. Promoting non- or struggling readers to third simply because they've gotten another year older does a disservice to the child and to the community.
Cheers,
Lessa